CHELM-ON-THE-MED©, NOVEMBER 2015 COLUMN 2
The ‘Jihadi Wave’
a mixed bag of piquant
BACKPAGE NEWS FROM THE FRONT
GLEANED FROM ISRAEL’S HEBREW MEDIA
November 5, 2015 – November 12, 2015
TROUBLED WATERS?
According to a Hebrew adage ‘Not every day is Yom Kippur’ (the day Jews traditionally beat their chests for their sins), but several Israeli journalists seized the moment to engage in some off-season breast-beating (and brow beating for good measure):
Security camera footage in Rishon le-Zion that caught a dozen barehanded civilians running after an armed terrorist in the city center shows several men jumping over a prone 80 year-old woman on the street who had just been stabbed seconds earlier - a sign Israelis were bloodthirsty SOBs and quote “had no compassion,” charged critics. Review of the footage reveals it took 26 seconds for other civilians in the vicinity to go help elderly Rachel Eizenkot*. (Yediot)
* only one of the three victims of the attack.
OUT OF HIS CLASS
Human error took a strange turn in a 2.5 M NIS ($657,894) damage suit against the sponsors of a Tai boxing (Muay Thai) tournament when the organizers erroneously matched Raz Madmon – a world champion in the featherweight class – sending the 60-kilo boxer into the ring at the Yad Eliyahu Sports Stadium against a heavy weight competitor who flattened the featherweight with one punch that knocked Madmon unconscious and landed him in the hospital.
When asked how in the world he didn’t notice he was facing “a mountain of a man” (har adam) when he entered the ring, Madmon told Maariv’s radio 301 FM he never noticed how ‘solid’ his opponent was built, figuring he just “looked big.” (Israel HaYom, 301 FM - Maariv)
THE ULTIMATE PUTDOWN
In the first week of October 2015, Hamas produced a takeoff of a popular song performed by Mizrachi singer Eyal Golan entitled “Me she-Ma’amin Lo Mifached” (He who has faith has no fear) with their own lyrics telling Israelis - “We’re the soldiers of God. We’ll liquidate the Zionists.”
The Border Patrol has now responded in kind with a emasculating parody telling Hamas “Listen terrorists…if you once again touch Eyal, we’ll send you Keren and Maital” – a reference to two female combat soldiers from the Border Patrol who neutralized Palestinian assailants in two different incidents…a fate considered the ultimate humiliation* among male Jihadi terrorists. (Channel 2 TV) Photo Credits: 1. AP Photo appearing in Border Patrol clip 2. Police Spokesman’s Office
* In Syria, being killed by women combatants from the beleaguered Yazidi minority is considered by ISIS members grounds for being denied the 70 virgins said to be awaiting Islamic martyrs in heaven.
MAYOR MAY I?
Another sign of Israel’s ‘first responder’ mayors?
After Jerusalem mayor Nir Barkat tackled a terrorist outside city hall (see ‘All in a Days Work’), Tel Aviv mayor Ron Hulda’i rushed into the street to direct traffic after the lights went on the blink on Ibn Gavirol Street outside city hall. (Yediot)
SHADY DEAL
And speaking of the Big Orange…looking to further expand its tax base, the Tel Aviv Municipality is trying to slap a tax on concessionaires who manage the city’s beaches for advertisements on beach umbrellas (which concessionaires are required to provide as one of the terms of their contracts with city hall). The city claims the writing on the umbrellas come under the designation “signposting.”
The concessionaires are challenging the unprecedented demand in court as a breach of contract and a unilateral change in the status quo dating back to 1948. (Calcalist)
IS NOTHING SACRED?
It’s hard for Israelis to believe, but only recently New Yorkers got a chance to savor one of Israel’s most popular fast-food items after falafel and hummus: piping hot fresh-made schnitzel in a pita topped with salad, served up in hole-in-a-wall shnitzeliyot throughout Israel. But, it’s not your ima’s* schnitzel!
The cleaver-flattened pan-fried chicken breasts covered with seasoned breadcrumbs (brought to Israel by German-Austrian immigrants, based on veal in the ‘old country’) is made with chicken thighs in New York and served on prezel bread to cater to American tastes.
Schnitz was established in the East Village by Yoni Erlich and Dana Magen - the niece and nephew of Israel’s top food guru Ruth Sirkis. If the above item slaps of blasphemy in Israeli minds, Yoni revealed it gets far worse (though it’s great for business): “Americans eat schnitzel in a way Israelis wouldn’t understand. Schnitzel on a waffle in the morning. What Israeli would touch this?!?” (Yediot)
* ima: mom in Hebrew
TOYING WITH TERROR
Is a maritime blockade to allow Israelis to inspect Palestinian Authority imports justified?
Just last week* Ashdod Port customs officials seized a container bound for Palestinian Authority areas marked ‘children’s toys’ containing 5,000 commando knives ordered from China…
Then again, the bill of lading is not as fraudulent as one might think: Knife-wielding assailants in recent weeks have included a 13 year-old, two 15 year-olds and this week a record-breaker - an 11 year-old Palestinian boy who boarded a Jerusalem tram after school armed with a knife and commenced to stab the first Jew within arm’s length. (Yediot)
* The week before it was a marine container filled with slingshots…and tons of fireworks which Palestinians have taken to firing point-blank at riot control forces, and checkpoints into Israel, in lieu of using the fireworks to celebrate weddings.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
Ninety-one-and-a-half year-old Simyon Simkin was crowned world champion for long-distance runners in the nonagenarian class (i.e. those between 90-99 years of age). The Belarus-born Israeli, a great grandfather of six. completed the 10 kilometer race in 1.20 hours – 21 minutes ahead of his closest competitor – an Argentinean runner who placed second.
What’s all the more amazing is Simyon Simkin can’t see more than three meters ahead. He is legally blind. (Israel HaYom)
AN UNBREAKABLE BOND
Several years ago Dima Bakshi made aliyah from Russia, and served in the Givati Brigade during his military service, and participated in last summer’s Protective Edge campaign as a reservist.
When the former lone soldier dropped dead without any sign of illness, his mother – a woman of very limited means - asked that his body be cremated and sent to Russia.
Bakshi’s army buddies and an NGO of IDF vets called Ezrachim b’Mil (‘Citizens in Reserves’) took charge – collecting tens of thousands of shekels to fly the bereaved mother to Israel to participate in a memorial service for the IDF vet held in a garden adjacent to the National Forensic Lab in south Tel Aviv, attended by his army buddies and work colleagues, and to fly Bakshi’s coffin to Russia with her for burial. (Yediot)